Count Olaf's Guide on How to Look Awesome in Your Work Uniform

▽

I have now worked at the smoothie bar for two weeks. I have pretty much got the lay of the land. I know how to ring up customers on the register and only have to call customer service for help every fifth time. I know how to whip up four of our six smoothies by heart. I am getting better at writing on clear plastic cups using a permanent marker. But you wanna know what totally blows my mind about working at the smoothie bar? People don't recognise me when I am wearing my uniform. 

△

For some reason, when I am wearing my black baseball cap with the name of my store emblazoned across the front, my white collared shirt, black tie and black pants people don't know that it is me. This is completely hilarious, because I don't feel like a different person, but somehow by seeing me in a different context and with my uniform people blank out. I have had friends from my former improv troupe look straight at me, watch me wave to them and still not know who I was! Professors and acquaintances from school and town have looked straight at me and don't know me.

I am reminded of my favourite childhood book series The Series of Unfortunate Events. The main villain, Count Olaf, uses a number of ridiculous disguises throughout the series. The joke is that even thought the disguises are terrible and should be ineffectual, none of the grown-ups can recognise him. Even if he just puts on a fake moustache, Italian accent and calls it a day, they think he is someone else. Only the protagonists, the intelligent young Baudelaire orphans, can see that it is obviously Count Olaf wearing a false moustache and using a ridiculous accent.

I feel like Count Olaf. My disguise is a simple baseball cap and black apron. No part of my face is obscured beside my forehead, yet people still think I am someone else! I guess I look a bit different with my hair pulled tightly back and wearing clothes I would never choose to wear, but still...It is kind of a fun feeling. I can crouch behind my smoothie counter and pretend to not be me.