Thursday, February 18, 2016

Three Things: Pet Peeves






I have been a bit cranky this week. No particular reason. Unless you think this might have something to do with it. You know that state in which everything around you gets your goat? Not your real-live goat--your metaphorical goat. I have been having trouble with goat-getting this week. I have been trying to keep my outbursts to a minimum, in order to show love to my fellow humans, but it has been a struggle. It all came to a head this afternoon in the newspaper office. I stayed late and we started to talk about The Stupe. The Stupe is the greasy little school burger joint in the basement of our school. As we talked about it I began to rant about my hatred of The Stupe Smell. The guys I was talking to were alarmed at the level of passion I displayed on this topic. That is what made me think that I need to spend this week telling you Three of My Pet Peeves. I think of this as a therapeutic way of venting. Isn't that what the internet is for? 






1. Pet Peeve #1: The Stupe Smell
The Stupe serves hamburgers and chicken sandwiches and fries. You pick up your food in a white styrofoam container and walk through a line choosing fries, lettuce and condiments. Then you take your food to your favorite spot. You eat the warm salt encrusted fries dipped in ketchup and mayonnaise. You lick your fingers from the chicken grease. You mop up the juices with your white bread bun and then you throw away your white container. All done. NOT! You are not all done, because the smell of the food you just ate will linger on your fingertips for the next 48 hours. The smell is a combination of fry grease--that vat of liquid fat in which the potatoes are soaked, mayonnaise and sour pickle. I do not know why one must bear with this smell for 48 hours. It is the punishment of eating unhealthily. I have tried everything to get it off: soap, rubbing alcohol, air freshener etc. Nothing works. It is like the time we tried to cover up the smell of my littlest brother's vomit in our car by using a Sage and Lemon Yankee Candle Air Freshener. All you get is the smell of Sage and Lemon and Vomit layered on top of each-other.






2. Pet Peeve #2: Sheldon Stumbling
This one is tough, because it has to do with a flaw in my beloved fiance. I hate to admit that he is not perfect, but he has a significant character flaw, that, if I am in the wrong mood, drives me bonkers: Sheldon trips over everything. He trips over the legs of chairs, the edge of the carpet, a crack in the sidewalk, an ant walking across the same sidewalk, his own shoes, a small disturbance in the air currents around his feet...Everything!
OK. I can hear what you are saying to me. "Lucy Rose. You are a complete monster. How dare you complain about this "flaw", when the truth is that you are engaged to marry a godly, upright, handsome, intelligent and caring young man like Sheldon?! You cannot be serious."
You are right. But...I find it so difficult to have patience with Sheldon's tripping especially if we are in a hurry and trying to get out the door!
"Lucy Rose, stop being a jerk. Leave the poor man alone." This is what my mother would say to me.
"Ok, Ok! Soooo-reee!"





3. Pet Peeve #3: Sweaty Socks
This one doesn't need much explanation, does it? Upon reading the words "Sweaty Socks" I imagine that you automatically cringed and a shiver went down your spine. We all hate this. This happens to me a lot in the winter time because I wear thick wool socks in tight boots for most of the day. When I get home at the end of the day I take off the socks and let my damp dogs breathe. It is one of the happiest times of the day. It is tied for first with taking off my foundational undergarment, as my mother calls it. Sometimes I like to return to my apartment between classes in order to brush my teeth and put on a fresh pair of socks. Then I like to slip into my house shoes. House shoes are a must for walking around the apartment. They keep my feet warm and I don't step in sink puddles.



4 comments:

  1. #1 reminds me of the Czech restaurant smell. I used to think it was just Imrvere, but no, I'm pretty sure it's all of them. When Jonny comes home after meeting someone at a restaurant, I can't hug him until he changes (and preferably showers). When we all go out to eat, I need to wash our clothes ASAP and air out our clothes. Blech.

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  2. I am totally with your mother as far as number two!

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