Monday, September 7, 2015

A Joke Gone Wrong

"I like that doormat."
"Me too. I wish we had one in front of our apartment."
"Why don't we just move this one down and put it in front of our door?"
"That is a great idea."

That is the conversation that my roommate and I had on Tuesday. We were taking out the recycling together, in order to keep each other company and for protection. We walked past all the other college apartments on our floor, occasionally peeking inside of a lighted front room to check out decorating ideas.

We thought that moving the mat down a couple of doors would be hilarious. How funny would it be to wake up and find your doormat is missing? But then you walk down the corridor and see the exact same mat on someone's else's doorstep. You chuckle to yourself at the vivacity and wit of whoever snagged it. Then you just bring pick it up and bring it back to your house. No biggie.

That is not how this went down, unfortunately. We moved the mat on Tuesday night and Wednesday morning Leya, my roommate answered a knock at the door.

Neighbour: Um, hi. I live down the hall. Can I ask you a question?
Leya: Sure!
Neighbour: Is this our doormat.
Leya: Yes.
Neighbour: Okaaaay.
Leya: Do you need help brining it back to your house?
Neighbour: Sure. Thanks. Also why is it wet?

Our neighbour was on crutches. Leya felt supremely uncomfortable, because the joke was obviously not a joke to the inhabitant of the other apartment. And I wasn't home to help her explain the reasoning behind our actions. The mat was wet because there had been a rainstorm in the night. In place of the mat was now a permanent water stain in the shape of the stolen doormat.

The next day we were chatting with one of the guys who lives downstairs from us.

He said: "Your neighbour was talking about it in class the other day. She said, 'These girls who live down the hall from us stole our doormat! They just moved it down and put it in front of their own door. Did they think that we wouldn't recognise our own doormat and realise that they stole it? That is not very smart."

True. We are not very smart. Smart people learn from their mistakes. Yesterday a different set of neighbours from down the hall put out a beautiful new doormat.

I said to Leya, "Isn't that a lovely doormat?"
"Yes it is. I like it even better than our first one."


  1. Haha, I thoroughly enjoyed this story, Lucy :)
    So hilarious! Your doormat adventures are just the best :D
    xox Nadia

  2. Ha! I laughed out loud at this one! Such a good story, and well told too.

  3. Oh gosh that's too funny! I think I would've tried a similar joke - frequently no one gets mine anyways, it's just me laughing to myself! It would so hilarious if you printed out this post, and slipped it in the neighbor's mail, I would love to read a follow up post on that!

    Angelina Is | Bloglovin'

  4. Concerns of a parent...
    Jokes that take nice things from people = not funny.
    Jokes that bring things to people = ?
    Jokes that bring bad things to people = probably not funny.
    Jokes that bring nice things to people = possibly funny?
    Could you surprise the doormat victims with something, perhaps something left on their Doormat? A stuffed animal? A set of the morning's newspapers? Newspapers from the same morning 25 years earlier? A fresh vegetable?