Monday, March 21, 2016

Nap Time

When did naps become the most delicious thing? When came the shift between the nap as a form of torture and the nap as blissful? Remember when the prospect of lying down for an hour and SLEEPING was the worst? I do. I remember that we used to be allowed a book or two in bed. The worst punishment for bad behaviour was taking away the books for nap time. Then I got to college and began to think of a nap as a treat. I would plan them out in advance like an addict dreaming about their next fix. 

On Sunday I woke up early and went running before church. By the time church was over I had turned into an angry, tired ogre. I crashed in the car ride home. Poor Sheldon found himself chauffeuring an unpleasant, hungry, tired beast instead of his beautiful, charming fiancé. Of course he remained gentlemanly throughout and pretended not to notice how my hair had turned into gnarly horns and I spoke only in grunts. 

Sheldon: What did you think of the sermon today, Lucy Rose?
Ogre: Graaaarggggg...
Sheldon: Is that so? Good thoughts. Would you like me to make you some lunch at my apartment? 
Ogre: [Beats chest with taloned fists, lifts head and howls] Ahhrooooohhhh!!!
Sheldon: Lovely. I'll make us some tea as well. 

My dad is the opposite. He wakes up from naps feeling grumpy. His does have a remedy though. Before he settles down a hard day of he sets out bait for himself. The bait is meant to soothe his savage breast and coax him into docility. He has a piece of chocolate, orange juice and some coffee. It is like a potion in a fairy tale which transforms The Beast into a Gracious Ruler of the Peaceful Kingdom. When I wake up from I nap I feel like my head is in a cloud of fog, but the ogre in me has subsided and I feel relatively human again.

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