Bright Little Things

Dear Friends,

It's been just an emotionally exhausting week. Nothing major happened in external terms, but things got pretty intense in therapy and that has taken a lot of my energy. I'm so grateful for the space to do this work, but it is not easy sometimes. 

Today when I came out of my second therapy session in three days it was like my body and mind hit a wall and said, "Alright. That was craziness. Dude, We have GOT to slow it down now. Let's just chill for a sec, OK?"

Hm. Did not know that my subconscious talks like a surfer dude from some cheesy TV show, but hey--it's therapy--I'm learning all KINDS of new things about myself!

My Freelance Journey: Goodbye Fancy Website

The minute I announced I was a freelancer, I felt the pressure to create a rad, sleek website. Sheldon and I spent hours and hours making www.lucyrosetillcampbell.com. On the site I had most of the basic things you expect from an artist's website: An About Me Section, a portfolio of my art, a contact page and I also had a place for people to sign up for my zine-selling business. 

Crying During Spider-Man: Into the Spiderverse

Whew. That was weird. I just started tearing up while watching the movie Spider-man: Into the Spiderverse. I got to the scene where Peter Parker dies and Miles Morales buys a tacky costume from a shop owner, who is actually played by Stan Lee, the creator of the original Spider-man comics. There's an emotional song playing in the background. Miles, who has just started having Spidey powers and is feeling really scared and lonely asks, "Can I return it if it doesn't fit?" Stan/the shopkeeper says with a knowing look, "It always fits...eventually."

Some Changes

Dear Friends,

In my last post I mentioned how this blog feels like a safe space to me. I feel like I can be myself here and I won't run into judgement. But as soon as I wrote that I started to question whether I really do feel the ability to be vulnerable here. I have found it hard to write posts recently.

For a few weeks I had a good streak going where I was keeping up with my Friday series on freelancing, but once again I stopped. At first I just blamed my own laziness, and while I still don't rule that out, I have been wondering if another answer might be at the root of why I haven't felt able to post right now. 

How I Learned to Tidy

Well. I fell off the blog wagon again. Typical. I haven't posted for several weeks. And then because I was off the blog wagon I felt like a failure and that completely psyched me out of getting back on the blog wagon. So here we are. Thanks for the endless patience you extend to my wayward blogging ways. 

I think that's one reason I have returned over and over to this blog: it feels like a judgement free zone. Of course, I judge MYSELF very harshly and am not a very good friend to me sometimes, but I always feel like you guys never judge me and this web page never judges me. 

Thanks for that. 

Right before I stopped blogging for a spell I made a few illustrations of my newly organized studio to share with you. I had spent about a week tearing everything up and putting it all back together again. 

My Freelance Journey: Flamin' in a Pit

I have started delivering as a side gig to make money to supplement my practically non-existent freelance income. For the first few days it was going pretty well, but last night I had a bad "dash".

My Freelance Journey: Kind of a Downer

I have been trying to tune my mandolin as a way of procrastinating from writing today's blog post about freelancing. The tuning is not going very well, but for a while it was working as a way to put off writing. 

I've got to be honest, you guys. Writing about myself as a freelancer today seems really daunting. I've been feeling so ashamed of my career (or lack thereof) the past few days that the prospect of writing about it seems terrible. 

My Freelance Journey: I’m Proud of You, Me

I want to talk about three things I am actually proud of in the way I have handled my freelance business so far. In my last post I got a tad...sarcastic...about some of the choices I have made in my quest to become a freelance illustrator.

Being silly and hyperbolic is one way I cope with things which, in reality, scare me or intimidate me--like being a freelancer! As I mentioned in this post, MANY things about freelance scare me. 

But today, as a way to even out the high levels of sarcasm (and let's be honest, this one of those weeks where I could use a boost of confidence!) I want to focus on the things that make me proud. 

My Freelance Journey: Business Insanity

Have you ever had a very small child explain something to you in an extremely condescending way? You listen and nod. You're respecting the truth of the three-year-old who is explaining why hiding all your money in a hole is a good investment, but you are also not letting go of the fact that the three-year-old is not your best bet for financial consultation. 

In freelance years I am a two-year-old. I started my freelance career in October 2018. So I feel a little like the three-year-old giving financial advice to adults. 

My Freelance Journey: Instagram

"Lucy Rose, it's just an Instagram post, don't worry so much about it."

I felt foolish for feeling taken aback--even a little stung--at Sheldon's comment. I wanted to say to myself, "Yeah, take a chill pill, Till. This is just social media!" 

But the comment made me pause long enough to examine my reaction and realize why my relationship to Instagram means so much to me.

My Freelance Journey: The Portrait Lady

I made a lot of money making portraits at events and via social media. I was developing a decent following of people who really liked my product. If I had wanted to, I could still be doing it. In fact, I think I could have actually made it into a career. But instead of fostering my portrait business I let it gradually dry up. 

My Freelance Journey: A Brief History

Zines. Dog portraits. Children's book illustrations. Art in coffee shops. Portraits at the Farmer's Market. More Zines. Those are just a few of the things I have tried ever since becoming a freelance artist in 2018. It has been quite a ride. Today I want to give you A Brief History of My Freelance Journey just to catch you up on where I am now. I hope to devote more detail and time to certain aspects of my journey later, but for now: just the broad strokes. 

My Freelance Journey: Fears

"You're a mess." 

This is something my grandmother told me a lot during my year in Texas, which lasted from 2018-2019. I know to her it was meant to be a form of endearment--spoken in a loving, eye-roll way when I would do something unexpected (to her) or unusual (to her!). 

It still kind of stung, though. Who wants to be a mess? But it also stung because it's not that far from the truth about me, especially when it comes to my freelancing. I AM a mess. 

My New Series About Freelancing

I want to write about my journey as a freelance artist here on Lucy's Life. The last couple years have been so interesting, frustrating and scary. I think that this space could be perfect for talking honestly about it. I hope that my experiences could help inspire someone else or help them feel a little less alone. 

A Good Day

Today is a good day. Good days make me feel a uneasy. 

"This can't last long!" screams my inner self. 

Meet the tiny, little maniac that lives inside my head and feeds off of ruining EVERYTHING. Maybe a better word name for that guy would be Anxiety. 

Missed You

I miss blogging. 

I haven't posted here for four years, ever since 2016, when I stopped in order to focus on studies, getting married and finding a job. 

But I miss it. I miss you guys: my faithful 15 readers! Wait. There are 16 of you? Wow!!! I'm so glad you're here.